Kirby ATE the Tardis!
by Kentastic72
Summary: An adorable puffball has swallowed their only means of transportation. Will they ever get the Tardis back?


**_Author's Note: I made a papercraft Kirby and a papercraft Tardis and got to thinking. Disclaimer: I do not own Kirby or Doctor Who._**

"What do you mean, _he __**ATE**__ it_?" Amy asked, her eyes widening in amusement. "That little cutesy _puffball_ **ATE** the Tardis? What, is it _'bigger on the inside' _too?" She pointed to the creature who was staring at them intensely. The Doctor failed to explain about the pink sphere in front of them, "NO, he just…"

"He just swallowed it. It's still in there, but it can come back up," Rory said. After the surprised looks from Amy and the Doctor, he explained, "I had a pen pal who talked about this videogame he played. It had something to do with a sphere like that and it swallows things. They just sit there. He can choose which thing to digest, and he gets special powers from them." The Doctor and Amy stared at him.

"I've got a good memory," Rory shrugged it off.

"But that's a GAME! It can't be real!" Amy pointed out.

The Doctor bent down to eye level of the creature. "It must have been based," he said, "off of this fellow. Hello, little friend!" He directed at the sphere. "And what's your name?"

The animal jumped back, as if afraid, but made a chirp like noise. "Ah," said the Doctor, sighing as he figured it out. "His name's Kirby. And Rory's right. Kirby here CAN choose what to digest. AND what to spit back up!"

Amy was puzzled, "Are you saying we have to convince him to…"

He smiled, "REGURGITATE!"

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt 1:<strong>

"It's not like you need it, Kirby," Rory said. _'I'm talking to a bouncy ball,' he thought. _But, it's not like you'll digest it and have Timelord powers. Well, that's probably what _would _happen…"

The Doctor and Amy simultaneously yelled, "Rory!"

Kirby seemed to laugh.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt 2:<strong>

"Look here! Brand new things to swallow!" The Doctor exclaimed. If he ate more than 5, he had to get rid of other things to make room.

The gang shoved anything they could find in front of Kirby's face. Some things he ate, others he refused, and some came back up in bubbles. But the Tardis was still in there.

Kirby started to hiccup.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt 3:<strong>

"Alright, that's it! I'm bringing in a **PROFESSIONAL**!" yelled The Doctor. He phoned a very trusted person.

After laughing for 3 minutes straight, the prison guards rushed to her cell to see what was happening. "No," River said through giggles, "I would not shoot a walking sphere named Kirby, nor would I intimidate him." The Doctor huffed, "Well, _thanks, dear. _Glad to know I can_ depend _on you._" _Without a trace of sarcasm, "You're welcome, sweetie," and hung up.

Kirby seemed bored.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt 4:<strong>

Whilst the Doctor and Rory were arguing over whether or not "the Last Centurion" costume would scare him enough, Amy bent down to eye level with Kirby.

"Hey there, little guy," She said softly. The argument got surprisingly loud. Kirby and Amy turned towards the bickering duo. _"It won't work, Doctor!" Rory said. "How do you know, you've never tried it!" the Doctor retorted. "Well," Rory admitted, "I certainly don't want to scare him to death!"_

"How about we ignore them? Look, we _need_ the Tardis to go back home. You don't _really_ want to eat it, do you?" she asked. Kirby nodded no. "Are you just _that_ hungry?"

Kirby squeaked. She took it as a yes.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt 5:<strong>

"Doctor," she said, interrupting their fight. "Oh, what is it, Amy?" he asked somewhat impatiently. Amy replied, "Do you have any food?" The Doctor said, "Every morsel is in the Tardis. Except, maybe, for…" He rummaged through his pockets until he found what he was looking for.

"Ah, ha!" He laughed. "I've got a piece of _strawberry shortcake_. Will that do?"

Kirby's jaw dropped, his mouth watered, and his eyes grew wide.

"_See? Play along," she whispered to the Doctor and Rory._

"Hey, Kirby, do you _like_ strawberry shortcake?" asked Amy.

Kirby slowly nodded his head yes.

"It's my last piece," said the Doctor, "But I don't want it."

Rory caught on, "Maybe _you_ want it?"

Kirby quickly nodded his head yes, never taking his head off the cake.

"All you have to do," said The Doctor, "is give us back our Tardis. Big blue box, you can't miss it."

In no time at all, a bubble carrying the Tardis came up. the bubble popped and out she came, without a scratch.

"Thanks, Kirby!" the trio shouted all at once. They turned to the Tardis.

Kirby looked dead at them, not amused.

"Oh, right! Your cake!" the Doctor remembered. He handed him the piece. Kirby swallowed it in one bite, rubbed his stomach, and fell asleep on the spot.

"Isn't that adorable?" Amy sighed.

"If you want, I can take you to a planet where _everybody_ looks like that!" exclaimed the Doctor.

"I've had enough of puffballs for one day," said Rory.

* * *

><p>While Kirby slept, golden bio-energy seemed to come from his mouth. But that might have been a trick of the light.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Review please! I want to know if you liked it!<strong>_


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